Fantastic Uncle Johnny
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: I am Johnny Storm. The Human Torch. World known superhero, rescuer and everfamed success with almost every female in the planet. I am not, I repeat, NOT a babysitter.


I am Johnny Storm. The Human Torch. World known superhero, rescuer and ever-famed success with almost every female in the planet (the only exceptions being those I am related to). On a daily basis, I work with the rest of the Fantastic Four to keep everything in this world in order. It used to be the army who did things like this, but sometimes it's good to have your first choice of fighters as the ones who own the Fantasticar, which just happens to fly at over 500km an hour. If I'm not working with them, I'm working with the fire department. Some fires are too dangerous for even them, but not when I'm there to absorb the flames. I am successful, popular, and damn attractive.

I am not, I repeat, _NOT _a babysitter.

Today, there have been no fires, no collapsing buildings, no cosmic demons from space. _Nothing_. No, today, I have not been the Human Torch. I have not been a superhero. I have just been Uncle Johnny. The babysitter. Not just that...the _last resort _babysitter, thanks to Ben and Alicia's day out that '_just happened' _to coincide with Sue and Reed's outing.

So far today, I have rescued a cat from a tree, rescued the same cat from being drowned, or rather, bathed, and tried to feed my niece and nephew. I think that, at the end of the day, the feeing was probably easiest. Neither of the kids were as fussy with their food as they were with the smell of their cat. Personally, I think getting a kitten for my niece's third birthday was the _worst _decision in the world, but you know, I'm not her father, and I definitely didn't pay for it. It's just something that seemed 'appropriate', in my sister's words, now that we'd moved to the outskirts of the city.

Yes, that's right. The Fantastic Four now live in _suburbia_.

It all started out in the back garden. I stared up at the giant oak tree at the bottom of the garden. On one of the higher braches, a small tabby cat was perched in place, twitching its tail in annoyance as it leered down at me and the two children either side of me. The older of my sister's children, Franklin, attempted to call the cats name, and demand it to come down. Like so many of its kind, however, the cat didn't make any move to listen to one of its owners, and remained unmovable on the high branch.

I sighed, crossing my arms as I looked down at the youngest child, Valeria. "So, tell me again what happened?" I asked her.

Franklin answered for his sister, rather awkwardly. "We were um...playing with the cat...and it kinda...ran away."

"How are you going to get it down?" I asked them.

"We're asking you to." Valeria told him sweetly.

Of course they were.

If it was up to me, the stupid cat could stay in the tree. 'Cosmo', as Valeria had named her beloved kitten, didn't like me. I had too many scratch marks from the cat. I so much as brush past it, and it leaps on me. Val could hit it with a saucepan (long story, she didn't mean to), and it would _still _purr at her. As much as I'd rather be inside with the cat outside, I was sure that Sue wouldn't be to happy to find the cat stuck in the tree, refusing to come down. Sure, Cosmo went out all over the place now that he was more of a cat than a pillow of fluff, but somehow, we'd managed to pick a cat that refused to leave a tree it climbed into.

The two blonde haired, blue eyed children gave me sideways glances. I looked back up into the tree with a sigh. Cosmo changed positions, now on its haunches, and my niece and nephew looked at me still. Minutes passed, and the cat didn't move.

"Okay, okay." I surrendered. "I'll get the cat."

It didn't take long for me to flame on and reach the cat's level, but I couldn't stay flamed on while holding the cat. So, I made a quick grab for the furry demon, and then climbed back down the tree. As soon as I was back on the ground, I gave the cat to Valeria.

"Thank you, Uncle Johnny." Valeria smiled up at me sweetly. Yeah, she looks like her mom when she does that.

Franklin, however, gives me the same confident smile that reminds me of myself sometimes. Maybe that's why I like the kid so much. "You're a _hero_, Uncle Johnny." He tells me.

I didn't have time to reply as they ran back inside, the evil demon of a cat still comfortable in Valeria's arms. I went back to the television as the kids started playing with the cat again, this time far away from the garden. However, ten minutes later, when I went to get a drink, I was confronted with a frantic ball of fur that darted through my legs faster than I could fly. Of course, naturally, it went straight out the back door and into the garden, and for some reason, it smelt strongly of wet fur and shampoo.

Franklin, who was partly dripping wet, poked his head out from the hall. "He got out again, Uncle Johnny. Can you get him?"

----

Sue's not going to be happy when she sees that all of her bath smelly things, whatever they are, are now half empty. She also won't be happy to know that they were used on the cat. And she'll be damn right angry when she finds out that I _let _the kids do it. I'd offer to buy her some more, but I haven't got a clue what they are, or what she uses them for, and I certainly don't know why she needs so many. I'm a man. I'm simple when it comes to hygiene. I have one type of shower gel, and one type of shampoo, and that's me clean. But Sue? She needs about twelve of each. When she leaves the bathroom, it smells like a tropical rainforest.

Franklin and Valeria have calmed down now. Thank _God_. They're not bouncing off the walls from the sugar high that came around after lunch. How was I to know that they go absolutely bonkers on those things at the back of the cupboards? Maybe if we had more food in the house, then I wouldn't have agreed to let them eat it. Then again, it's hard to do a weekly shop for seven people. That's why I always try to get out of it.

Sue and Reed still aren't back. They left this morning at 9am, and it's gone 6pm now. Nine hours. Honestly, how much time can they spend visiting Reed's brother? Okay, fair enough, it's his brother, but when it comes to Uncle Nate, the kids tend to run a mile. Maybe it's because they think he looks like the man from the horror movie they accidentally watched once (I'd like to take this opportunity to explain that I thought they were asleep). So, the kids basically fought life and limb to stay home with me today. It makes me feel important that they'd rather spend time with me than Reed's brother, but apparently it's because "_Uncle Nate looks like he's killed a man and Uncle Johnny doesn't yet_." I don't know about the _'yet' _in that statement, but that's Franklin for you, always coming out with the strangest things.

To be completely honest, I feel sorry for Sue. Reed's fine, he grew up with his brother. I know I couldn't stand being in the same room as him for my sister's wedding. He's the most annoyingly smart man known in existence. Sure, Reed's smarter, but at least he's not annoying about it like his older brother is. Even Sue only went today to make Reed happy, and thanks to me, Reed knows this. But they went anyway. I wonder how much longer it will be before they can make a break for it and come home.

Franklin and Valeria are watching TV now. There's some kids programme on, one of Val's favourites with a giant man in a bear suit. She has a thousand stuffed animals from this programme, knows all the songs, and has probably seen every episode five times over - at least. Franklin only watches it because his sister does and that means he doesn't have a choice. He hates it, really. He just doesn't want to admit that it scares him. I know that kids like all the bright colours and the dancing, but a man in a bear suit? It creeps me out too. Ben got them tickets to see the stage show last year. _Hilarious_. Reed and Sue took the kids, and four hours later, they arrived home, Val holding more stuffed animals (I don't know _where _she keeps them all), and Franklin looking rather shaken. Reed explained later, while Sue was putting the kids into bed, that one of the characters, a giant duck, I think, asked him to go on stage and play games with them, and he had almost screamed his head off. As sorry as I felt for the poor kid, it did make me laugh, but I didn't tease him too much about it. It happened to me once at Disneyland.

Franklin Benjamin Jonathan Richards was Sue and Reed's first kid. For the first few weeks, it got a bit repetitive. All you could do was hold him, and all he could do was cry. But he was a quiet kid. Didn't cry much. He was kinda cute as well, I've gotta admit. Big blue eyes and blonde curls - looks just like his mom, only a boy instead. He used to suck on his fingers more than his pacifier, which was really annoying when you'd pick him up to make a fuss of him, and he'd pull on your ears, or poke you in the eye...with a slimy hand covered in drool.

When he was first born, I had all these plans. I couldn't wait to teach him things...how to annoy his parents, but to shift the blame...how to annoy Uncle Ben, and not bother about shifting the blame...how to be just like Fantastic Uncle Johnny...the list was endless, and was fun just to think about. Of course, Sue and Reed said they didn't mind me teaching him things, but they thought I meant proper learning, not the fun things I had in mind.

I loved spending time with him. He was my nephew, and my godchild (yeah, that's one load of responsibility), but most of the time, I looked after him like he was the little brother I never had.

When he was really young, and Sue and Reed left me to baby-sit, they'd leave him with me, and he would cry, and cry, and scream, and cry some more, because he wanted Mom and Dad. His fists would hold onto my shirt when he was crying, and when he finally stopped, his eyes would droop, and then he'd fall asleep on my stomach, while I was watching TV, and his hand would still be holding the shirt. God, the kid could cry for America once he got started. But as soon as Mom was home, that was it - good as gold, all smiles for Mom. Always was a Momma's boy. Still is. Valeria's a daddy's girl though, which Reed loves. She doesn't like running in the mud like Franklin does though - she's still in her pretty dress phase. Franklin? Well...he's just _Franklin_.

When he was three, when we first moved into suburbia, he brought a frog into the house from the garden. That's something we expected the cat to do, not Franklin. Another cat had gotten this one pretty bad though, but Franklin brought it in, and me and Ben had to try and coax him into letting it go before Sue and Reed got home. We finally found him hiding under his parents bed, and he had made the frog a house out of one of Sue's favourite shoes (which, for the record, was never worn again because they went _'missing'_). Unfortunately, though, the frog was already dead when he brought him inside, and the two of us had to stand outside in the cold with Franklin, and have a funeral for poor old Hoppy in the middle of December.

You can't really complain though, can you? I mean, it's good that he's nice to animals. Unlike Val, who likes cats, and only cats.

When Valeria was first born, Franklin never left her side. If someone took her into another room, he'd follow them. It was strange. You wouldn't think that now. It was the other way around. Since Valeria had learnt to walk, she was glued to her big brothers side. 'Two peas in a pod' my Mom would have called them, just like me and Sue when we were kids.

----

Hours later, I woke up. I didn't even remember falling asleep. Sue and Reed were back in the living room, and Franklin and Valeria had fallen asleep either side of me on the couch. To my sister and her husband, it probably looked quite sweet, but I no longer had the feeling left in my arms.

Sue smiled at me. "Looks like you guys had fun today."

"Yes." I answered tiredly. "_Fun_."

She turned to Franklin, and gently shook his shoulder. "Franklin...come on, honey, it's bedtime."

He moaned as he started to wake up, and still half asleep, let Sue guide him out of the room. Reed didn't even bother to wake Valeria up, he just picked her up. "Thanks for watching them today, Johnny." He told me.

"No problem." I yawned.

They're all grown up now. Val's six, and Franklin's ten, but to me, Sue, Reed and Ben, they'll always be the first of the Fantastic baby troop. I don't look into their cribs at night like I used to when I was babysitting. Now, they get tucked into bed at night under blankets covered in princesses and spaceships. I still baby-sit for them, though, and I always will. I'm cool Uncle Johnny, remember? I'm the hero who, on weekends, takes time out from being The Human Torch to rescue stubborn cats from trees. Me, Franklin and Val will always have adventures. It's in the Storm blood to have adventures, if you ask me. If the adventures stop, we'll have to start some more, because the good days haven't stopped just yet.

A teenager would have got paid double for what I did today, but I didn't want to get paid for it. Even though I had almost fallen out of a tree (something I wouldn't be admitting), the cat causing more trouble than it was worth, and having two hyper kids on my hands, it had been fun.


End file.
